I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
