Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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