Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
