**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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