It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
