and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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