I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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