it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We had to coat check the pizza.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
