This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
