The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Hippo gnu deer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize