To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
