Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
