So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize