he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
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You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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