I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
