i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
