whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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