my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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