can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
