some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
