I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
