why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
