Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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