I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
