I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
