The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
