ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
