So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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