im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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