so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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