TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
