I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
