my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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