I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
