Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
