How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize