My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
