I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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