Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize