If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
