those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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