How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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