Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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