i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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