is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
how drunk are you?
Several
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
