We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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