absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
