My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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