Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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