Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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