and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
