It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
be right there i have to get my cape
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
