you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
