All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
