Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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