I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
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High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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