accomplished twins. life is a go
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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