we have pet lesbian snakes
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
