If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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