this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
