Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
