i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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