then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
