"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
