I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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