I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize