Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
